Cooking Fat has Died, and I'm Not Ready for Razorbacks Football

There was a time when I was excited about the upcoming Razorback football season. I was happy that Brett Bieliema was gone, I was excited to see what new head coach Chad Morris' run-pass-option offense would look like, and I was craving to see what crazy awesome shit Santos Ramirez would pull this year.

But that time is over, because Cooking Fat has died.

Cooking Fat, my families' beloved pet for twenty years (twenty years?!?), was released from the horrible terror of existence this morning. My father, on his way out to work, gently stroked her on the head as she purred and rubbed against his leg. He waved goodbye and left for work. On returning on, Cooking Fat was laying in the carport dead.

Here I am, trying to write a football blog about the Arkansas Razorbacks, and all of a sudden the purpose of everything has been thrown into terrible doubt! How can a football blog matter, how can anything matter at all, when one day life will just take your cat away? I mean, football was already pointless, but now? Geeze, what's the point in anything?

Cooking Fat (also known as Cook, Fat, Cook-Cook, Cookie, Cookie-Cat, Fooking Cat, Cookie-Cookie-Fat-Fat, along with other names) was a good cat, no, a very good cat, I hope she is eating all the canned salmon and chopped liver she can handle in good kitty heaven.

...

Why God Why/ Why did you take her from me? Is it because I watch football? Noooooooooo!

(uncontrollable sobbing)